My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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