So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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