You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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