the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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