Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize