Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
