eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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