Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
