When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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