Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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