Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
