Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
