It's like God shit irony all over that family
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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