So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
