He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
