You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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