...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
