dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize