I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
