after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Blood and glitter go together right?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
