I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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