After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
