Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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