Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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