Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
