I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
where are my eyebrows?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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