im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
