im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
