i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
