Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I won't apologize to a one balled man
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
