sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
