i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
