He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
