Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
