I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
