haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
