you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
