dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
