I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
