i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
