I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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