I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
