The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
