Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
