i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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