never play flip cup with pint glasses
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
