They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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