you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
