do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
