just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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