I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
