You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
