Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
