I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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