is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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