He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
