party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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