Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
