she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
