ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Four minutes until I can fart!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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