I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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